Thursday, February 26, 2009

AshAmEd, EmBArRAsSeD, DiSgRACed

Does anybody think about the fetus.  We don’t know if they hurt or feel pain.  We don’t know that when they do the procedure the baby/fetus doesn’t feel it.  I can’t believe that people that do the procedure doesn’t think about that.  They might but we aren’t sure.  I think it is stupid to not think like that.  My middle sister still doesn’t’ speck to my sister how had the abortion.  That makes me upset because we all use to be very close.  Now it is just me and Christine that are very close which is my sister that is not talking to my sister that had an abortion.             


What makes me mad is that my older sister doesn’t care about what she has done.  She has it in her head that she did nothing wrong.  Now I know I said that I stand by her and I agree with decision but now I don’t know.   I don’t know if I can stick up for her action in more because I found out that the reason she told me and my family isn’t true.  The real reason is because she didn’t want to get fat anymore.  GGGRRRRRR! That makes me so mad.  Only if you could see my face when she said that.  I was so mad.  I believe that women if really have a medical issue then that’s different, but may you should have consulted a doctor before you decided to get pregnant.  (My opinion)  I’m a shamed that I actually believed her.  There are women out there that have that problem and OMG that makes me so mad that she faked it.  I don’t feel sorry for her anymore.  She is a bartender thats all she cares about is that and I’m kind of glad that she didn’t have another baby she doesn’t take care of the one she has now.  I just think about the baby she actually killed.  She is a spineless baby killer.  Don’t get me wrong I love my sister and nothing will ever change that.  The things she does just makes me so mad.  I can’t stand to look at her anymore.  I just can’t believe that she doesn’t even think about the baby she killed.  She mad all that up.  She went to the library and looked up clinically depressed and she faked it (trust me  she did it very well too)  It just makes me so upset . (which I said before ,but it just makes me so bad) 


Now that I know the truth about my sister you can judge her now.  I’m tried of  backing her up.   I was the last one to know and she didn’t even have the guts to tell me.  I found out by Christine my middle sister she knew something was up ,but didn’t’ tell anybody.  I’m so sad.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


I have been following a blog call SURVIVORS.   Theses are people that stand up for what they believe in.  They don't believe in abortion and they want people to know what really happens to children that get aborted.  The post i'm going to write about is Nine Pro-life jailed in Birmingham Following Arrests on Public Sidewalk.  There are nine young adults arrested for standing in front of a high school with posters of fetus getting aborted.   They weren't doing anything wrong.  They were just passing out literature to students passing by on the sidewalk which is a public place not private property.

They were just expressing themselve.  "Freedom of speech" Right?  Which is what our country is about thats why people come to american.  They had called their attorneys to make sure nothing would happen to them after being threaten numberous times by police.  " After being threatened with arrest if they did not leave the area, the group contacted their attorney, who then assured them that their location on the public sidewalk and their free speech activity was legal according to local and state laws. " 

All nine of them were put into handcuffs. They all complied to what the officer said to do.  They kepted asking what they were being arrested for the officer said your not you are being detained.  (detained for what they didn't do anything WRONG) That just makes me so angry.  Then what gets you is the arresting officer had to ask his supervisor what are we arresting them for 'again'  OMG that would make me to bad. The have video of them being arrested and they did as they were told.  Followed every order.

I so glad that they stood up for what they believe in.  Not a lot of people of do that.  All i can say is that i'm proud of them and keep up the good work.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

ThE ReActIOn Of PeOpLe FiNding oUt mY BloG WaS ABoUt AbOrTiOnS

1.     Classmates find out my blog is about abortions: At first I was scared to tell anybody on what my topic for my blog was about.  I know it was a touchy subject.   It took a long time for me to decide that it was the subject for me.  When my teacher was coming around to find out what we are writing about for our blog I told him and I felt like peoples heads turned.  Then somebody asked me what my point of view was on the subject.  I said, “I feel that people should be able to make there on decisions.  I think it is better if somebody has an abortion when they have been raped or they are sick and can have an abortion.

2.     I asked my sister if I could use her in my blog: I asked my sister if it would be okay if I used her in my blog.  She was upset because it took her a long time to admit that she did what she did.  Let alone me writing about it for the public to see.  To be able to judge her and her not being able to do anything about it.  I told her that we should tell her story we have to be able to speak our own minds.  We have to do what we can to let people know that it is okay to have abortion if there is a good reason.  I told her she had no choice and that she should just let me tell her story.  She finally let me talk about her story.  The great thing is that I was able to tell it to people that could be or have been in her situation.

3.     My middle sister Christine reaction:  My sister Christine she is pregnant and I’m excited she is going to find out what her baby is today.  She does not believe in abortions at all.  She doesn’t believe in killing a baby.  She believes that what ever happens; happens for a reason.  She hates that my sister had an abortion.  When I look at my sister I think of my mom she has the same point of views as my mother.  I guess it is a good thing that my mom doesn’t believe in abortions (that’s another story all in it’s self) .  My sister is angry with my older sister.  She won’t talk to her and will not go to any family outings with her.  She is ashamed of her and I try to tell her that we are sisters.  Sisters are supposed to forgive each other.  We are supposed to be there for each other.


Friday, February 6, 2009

ThInGs YOu dON't ThiNk oF

In this world some people find things very interesting and others find the same thing dull or heartless.  Everyday you think you know somebody, but then you come to find out what you thought was true about him or her was not.  I just recently found out that my sister had abortion.  Now do not jump to conclusions. 

Six years ago my niece was born; Mackenzie.  She was able to carry MacKenzie with no issues; however, after she was born she had some heart problems.  The problems resulted from the childbirth.   When she got pregnant this time she noticed something wrong.  She was getting heart cramp and was really sick. She would grab her chest she said “that it felt like somebody was stabbing her in the heart and was twisting the knife.” I would ask her if something was wrong, but she just looked at me and said, “NO nothing is wrong.”  Her voice was strong and fearful.  When she said it her voice trembled.  Sisters know when something is wrong. I knew something was wrong I just didn’t know what. She just thought it was morning sickness.  So that is what she told everybody, but I knew that she knew what was wrong.  She just didn’t tell anybody.  After the pain got unbearable she finally made appointment to see a cardiologist.

My sister and I are very close we can talk about everything.   When she went to the doctor’s appointment, which by this time she was about three and half months pregnant, he had to run a series of tests to find out if there was anything wrong with her heart.  She then had to wait an addition week to get the test results back. 

She called with some bad news about the tests she took.  She told me what the doctor said.  She told me that the doctor told her that she had a fifty percent of living if she went through the pregnancy.  He told her that once she had her first child her heart had gotten weak.  Since she was young when she had Mackenzie her heart was not able to take the stress of going through another pregnancy.  She was speechless.  Either she went through with the pregnancy and lived  or the worst case  she would die at childbirth and Mackenzie would not have a mother.  She could not be that selfish.  All she ever dreamed of was watching her child grow up and graduate high school and see her walk down the aisle.  Just like my mother watched her walk down the aisle.  She did not want her daughter to grow up with out a mother.

So the only option was to have an abortion.  My sister is a stay at home mother.  She told her husband about the news and he was so sad because he wanted a child of his own.   He is not MacKenzie’s biological father; however, he treats Mackenzie as his own. He was so upset that they could not have any other children, but he understood that there was not anything he could do for my sister or his unborn child.  He wants to live the rest of his life with my sister and if she has this child she may not make it. 

She called one day crying.  She was sobbing she was breathing so hard I could hardly understand what she was saying.  I never heard her sound do depressed. She told me that she had killed her baby.  She said that she had an abortion.  So I went to her house because I did not want her to go through it alone.  She said, “it was the worst pain that a woman could go through.” She said “it was worst then labor pain.”  She was heart broken.  She felt is not just her that she hurt, but her tiny little baby too. 

I tried to make her happy to smile.  I would make funny faces and we also would watch funny television shows. Nothing worked besides the time I talked about when I peed myself because she was walking down the stairs and she fell.  When I looked at her to make sure she was okay she still had her Pepsi in the air.  That’s her favorite drink and she wasn’t letting it go no matter what.  I got a smile. I tried to get her mind off her situation.  They say to be happy you are required to laugh sixteen times a day.  I could not make her laugh; all she could do was cry.  I told her that she did it for the best reason in the world; to ensure MacKenzie had a mother.  She had no choice.  The doctor said that she would always be a high-risk patient.  That she ever wanted to have a baby that she would have to be in the hospital everyday to check her heart rate, her blood pressure and the baby’s progress.

It made me so sad, but there is a part of me that was glad because I did not have to worry about her.  I rather have my sister then have a niece or a nephew.   I want to grow old with my sister and I want her to see me walk down the aisle.  I want to go to lunch when we are middle age adults.  I want to tell her about my stories and things that make me annoyed.  How could I have done that if she had this child and she had died?  I would have never forgiven myself if I had not let her know my thoughts.  If she did die then I could have saved her by just letting her know that if she had an abortion I would not hate her.   If you think I am selfish person for feeling this way, then call me selfish if won’t hurt my feelings. In this country everybody is entitled to his or her own opinion.  That’s what is so great about the United States; free will. 

 People are allowed to have abortions, are allowed to think what they want and allowed to speak what they want.  People tell you things that you want to hear.  I tell you things because they are true and you have a right to think I am a horrible person or my sister is. 

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Sisterly love

I have two sisters.  My older sister is the one who had the abortion.  The middle sister we found out was pregnant and about the same time length of my sister who had the abortion.  It’s kind of weird because my middle sister (who I will call Christine) was just describing to me how she could feel the baby.  She could feel the little baby’s feet move.  I was so happy that the baby was okay and he/she was moving.  You can see the glow in her face.  You can look at her and realize that she is pregnant.  It’s a myth that pregnant women have a glow to them when they are pregnant.  I never thought that would be true, but she does I never notice it with my older sister (who by the way call her Ruie).


 Ruie (who is my older sister) I think is jealous because when ever my sister talks about the baby my Ruie gets upset and angry.  I know that has to be the reason why because all she can think about is her baby and not my sisters.  Think should I have done it?  It really hurt to have the abortion and now she has to live with it the rest of her life. She always tells me that she could never forgive her self.  I’m not just worried about her I’m worried about the effects the abortion is going to have on my niece.  She will never be able to have a sister/brother.  I always feel sorry for children that are the only child. (I thinking I’m glad I’m not them.)  They don’t understand the true friendship until you have a sister.  To understand that no matter what happens between you too there is nothing that can steal that away from you the love of a sister.


I remember when my sister (Christine) and I were little.  When we would get in trouble and we would be sent to our bedrooms (which was right beside each).  We would yell back in fourth (by opening up our windows) to each other because we had forgotten all about what we had been fighting over or partially because we wanted to get out of our rooms and play together again.  We always manage to become friends again.  I guess that is what’s so great about sisters there not like friends because when you get in fights we always manage to get over it.  I think back to what we did when we were kids to each other.  We were so mean to each other.  We would throw things at each other.  I remember at Ruie’s house my sister and I stayed the night and we were fighting over which one of us will get the left seat. Let me tell you we almost got the cops called on us because my sister lived in apartments and you could hear everything.  My sister kicked the side of my stomach the pain I can still remember it to this day.  It hurt so mother F***ing bad it felt like somebody was sticking a knife in my stomach and pushing the knife as far as it will go. The next day I had a bruise the size of a pomegranate.  I can tell you this she didn’t get the left seat I fought until I won.


 The reason why I’m telling you this story is because this is what my little niece will be missing. I know it sounds cruel, but that’s not the point it’s the fact that if we were friends I don’t think we would have forgiven each other I agree it is fighting, but it is more than just fighting.  It is a bond that sisters the bond that my niece will never have or ever experience is the sisterly bond. 


(Even though my sister and I were mean to each other.   The funny thing is my sister and me are very close now and she had also been protective of me towards other people.  Maybe I’ll tell you that story in another blog .)